There is a virtue that is, at the light of the evidence, underrated and therefore substantially neglected. I am referring to the practice of discretion. Time and again the Scriptures attest its value and weightiness; and much could be said about its beauty and practicality. Actually, the Book of Proverbs was written to give to the young men knowledge and discretion (Prov. 1:4). Added to it, we are told that discretion can preserve us (Prov. 2:11), and that we should comply with it as much as with wisdom (Prov. 3:21 NASB).
What is discretion?
Discretion can be defined as a prudent reservation which is substantiated under certain circumstances, and this, in reference to speech and action. It implies such entities as: reflection, discernment and self-control. It answers wisely to questions as: Should I speak about it publicly or not? Should I tell this person or not? Should I speak here or there? Should I express it now or later? Should I do it openly or considerately? And there go some of the interrogatives discretion can validly answer.
In some circumstances discretion can become the opposite of showing off, as depicted in the gospel of Matthew:
But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” (Matt. 6:3).
But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.” (Matt. 6:6)
But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, 18 so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.” (Matt. 6:17,18)
In other words, when we do something praiseworthy we should do it discreetly if the circumstances permit.
Discretion in speech
When we speak of discretion in reference to speech we refer to the virtue of retaining a certain form of knowledge out of love and consideration, that is, we keep it for ourselves. Here are two verses alluding to this sort of chariness:
“My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen [L bend your ear] to my words of understanding. 2 Be careful to use good sense [or So you might keep discrete] and watch what you say [L your lips might protect knowledge].” (Prov. 5:1,2 EXB)
A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims foolishness.” (Prov.12:23)
As these scriptures attest, one aspect of godliness is the ability to keep some knowledge for ourselves. Such ability is not as common as one may think, for we are often tempted to take the place of a newsmonger for our own convenience, or worse, as a mean to denigrate someone in view to exalt ourselves. As the Scriptures attest, the problem is triggered by a perfidious feature of one’s character.
“A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.” (Prov. 11:13)
Here we have it clearly stated, a talebearer is nothing else than the progeny of an unfaithful spirit. Obviously, this conclusion exalts the beauty and importance of discretion and defines it as the manifestation of a faithful and humble spirit.
In what follows I will divide discretion into two fields, namely, discretion in regard to one’s self and discretion in regard to others.
Discretion in regard to one’s self
Here again the Bible is full of exhortations, urging us to be discreet about ourselves. For instance, we read:
Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.” (Prov. 27:2)
Most men will proclaim each his own goodness, but who can find a faithful man?” (Prov. 20:6)
Here again discretion is associated with faithfulness.
Another area calling for discretion is the sufferings a person goes through. Here is a text written by Matthew Arnold. It points out to the beautiful trait of a faithful character:
If, in the paths of the world, stones might have wounded thy feet, toil or dejection have tried thy spirit, of that we saw nothing, to us thou were still cheerful, and helpful, and firm. Therefore to thee it was given many to save with thyself; and, at the end of thy day, O faithful shepherd! To come, bringing thy sheep in thy hand.”
This sort of discretion refrains self-pity and gives wings to courage and determination. It is as beautiful as humility and fruitful as the wisdom of the just (Matt. 11:19).
Another area in which discretion should bloom is in regard to our needs. The person who publishes his needs to the four winds has an obvious flaw in his character. Such explicit or implicit demands are not only ugly but also annoying. They are the expression of self-importance and put the publisher in the shoes of a beggar. Blessed is the person who expresses his needs in prayer and keeps silent in public. Such a person retains his dignity and virtue. The apostle knew it well. He writes:
“I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:12,13)
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